“Tom Grant II and the Lesson ~People do not care how much you know ~ until they know how much you care.”
Dear Bank of Prairie Village Shareholders and Clients ~
Most recently, I had the chance to attend the funeral of Tom Grant II. Mr. Grant, age 72, was a well-known Kansas City Business and Community Leader~ family man and a very generous Philanthropist.
From a distance, I always admired Mr. Grant. He was older than me (although in many ways he seemed younger), was a Phi Delt at KU (a different fraternity than mine), and although our kids went to the same high school, they did not really match up.
Nevertheless, although not close, Mr. Grant always went out of his way to say hello and ask about my sons. What struck me was Mr. Grant always seemed to know what my boys were doing and always enthusiastically and genuinely asked if there was ever anything he could do to help them or me.
Given that Tom was the CEO and/or Founder of several large public companies, a very active family man, and a hands-on philanthropist well-known for mentoring/coaching the many students for whom he established numerous scholarships, I was always amazed at how much he knew about my boys and how genuinely he cared. I could never figure out how he could get so much done in the standard 24 daily hours to which we are all allotted.
Even though I did not know Mr. Grant well, I very much wanted to attend his funeral. First, out of respect. Second, I hoped at the funeral I would gain a better understanding of this man I admired.
I was not disappointed. After a beautiful solo of “Amazing Grace”, Mr. Grant’s three boys stood to speak. I noted the boys were very close and united. They decided to each take one aspect of their Dad’s life on which they wanted to speak. This required coordination and a mutual effort so as not to be redundant.
All three boys spoke both eloquently and in a very genuine fashion. Together they conveyed Mr. Grant’s life lessons to them, his family and community focus, as well as funny stories, of his many humorous foibles~ in such a fashion everyone could relate.
In their first segment, the first son spoke about a life lesson story Mr. Grant shared with each of them. I thought it was powerful.
Mr. Grant related a time when he was “dining in a very nice restaurant, when a developmentally challenged busboy accidentally tripped and dropped a large platter of cleared off plates.
As if in slow motion, the plates shot upward and then dropped downward, ~ while the busboy attempted as if in a cartoon to try and catch them.
It was to no avail. The many diners nervously laughed at what appeared to be the busboy’s futile attempt to catch the falling plates... Mr. Grant admitted he was one of the laughing diners.
As a red-faced maître d' rushed to chastise the visibly upset busboy, now on the floor gathering the broken plates, a well-dressed woman waved the maître d' off, rushed from her seat, and assisted the busboy on the floor, in gathering the far-flung plates ~ not seemingly caring about the red sauce accumulating on her very nice white dress.
As the busboy and woman finished gathering the plates, the woman stood up and gave a very reassuring hug to the busboy for all the diners to see. The busboy brushed away tears, picked up the tray and suddenly regained his confidence and determination to see the job through.”
Mr. Grant told the story to each of his sons, explaining “he always regretted he was not the one that jumped up and helped the busboy in his moment of need.”
He further underscored the assisting woman as a role model, whose swift actions they should never forget and whose instincts they should always follow.
With this story, Mr. Grant first explained to each son, “to always treat someone who is servicing, assisting or helping you as the most important person in the world.” This included waiters, shoeshine men, retail clerks, ushers and, yes busboys.
Second, Mr. Grant instructed them “to treat everyone regardless of their status in exactly the same fashion, regardless of whether they are the United States President, a famous coach, a powerful CEO or the person cutting your grass, serving you a drink, doing your laundry or cleaning your hotel room~ All deserve your respect and appreciation in equal measure."
I realized these two lessons are probably why I (and probably everyone else) was always so happy to see and visit with Mr. Grant. He made me feel good about myself~ as I am sure he did for so many others.
Moreover, Mr. Grant’s “mindset and philosophy of treating everyone with respect and appreciation” must have been the key to his absolute genuineness in communicating, and why so many people of all walks of life were attracted to Mr. Grant and his leadership. Perhaps this was his secret to accomplishing so much in so many fields. People simply liked being around and wanted to assist him in his goals and tasks.
Mr. Grant made it a natural habit to simply ask people how he could help and assist him and did so without regard to what, if anything, they could offer him in return. It was such an engrained habit, it became effortless and automatic ~ and just part of his personality trait. What a great trait for which to be remembered.
Mr. Grants’ two life lessons dovetail with a similar lesson from another great leader.
Many business professionals of my age and era devoured post college~ the many works of historical Success Coach, Zig Zigler.
One of Mr. Zigler’s constant admonishments was “People do not care how much you know ~ until they know how much you care.”
For years I had Mr. Zigler’s quote taped on my desk. It reminded me, unless I emphatically cared for the person to whom I was speaking, they really were not interested in what I was saying. I might as well be talking to myself.
Mr. Grant’s habitual two philosophies of 1) deservingly showing and communicating respect and appreciation for all those attempting to wait, serve or assist you in any of life’s most mundane challenges ~ and ~ 2) showing such appreciation and respect in the exact same fashion for everyone, regardless of status or station in life, should be life lessons eagerly consumed for all of us.
Further, Mr. Grant’s two life lessons dovetail precisely with Mr. Zigler’s admonishment 3) to “Remember people to do no care how much you know~ until they know how much you care.”
By understanding these three above philosophies and life lessons, I am sure any high school or college graduate will be better prepared with the common sense needed to better communicate and add more value to the world, than painstakingly pursuing Emotional Intelligence and Human Behavior academic courses paid with tuition dollars.
I have found sometimes~ academically overanalyzing in term papers of what are time-tested common-sense principles, proves counterproductive.
Better to master some time-tested common-sense principles than going down the academic rabbit holes of trying to understand their origin and scientific basis.
I stepped from Mr. Grant’s meaningful funeral service into the bright Summer sun and put on my sunglasses for the hot walk to the parked car.
In doing so I realized not only had a learned more about Mr. Grant, as man I admired, but that in his final service he shared with me and all in attendance, through his sons, two life lessons on treating and interacting with all people that should become his lasting legacy.
I made a note to indelibly burn both lessons into my permanent memory bank.
As the Hot Summer Breezes begin to cool, and the young children with their enormous backpacks begin their daily trudge back to school, let’s carry the lessons of Mr. Grant and Mr. Zigler through the coming Fall, the Cold of winter and the inevitable warm and refreshing Southern breezes of next Spring.
Thank you for letting us be your bank and bankers ~
Dan Bolen ~ Chairman
Bank of Prairie Village
“The Bank of Prairie Village ~ Home of Blue Lion Banking” ~ cited March 2020, April 2021, April 2022, April 2023 and April 2024 by the by the Kansas City Business Journal as one of the “Safest Banks in Kansas City for Your Money.”
Small Batch Banking ~ Once Client at a Time.
